Signs of Life

I am writing this from my new job. Before I came to work today I sat down in the Crystal Court atrium. It is a great place to be alone in the middle of downtown Minneapolis’ hustle and bustle.  I sat for five minutes and thought about what I wanted. My eyes wandered to the man drawing on a piece of cardboard and the woman staring into her phone. I looked to my left for a moment and my eyes fell upon the Minnesota gift store. There in the midst of Paul Bunyan dolls and teddy bears on a display shelf was the model of a sailboat. I gazed at it with it’s mainsail and jib, three quarter keel, and sleek lines. One of the happiest things I can imagine is life on a sailboat.

One of the saddest things I can imagine is an abandoned blog, being left behind to disappear from our collective memories. Travel blogs are a heart rending culprit. Someone was so excited, planning, chronicling their preparation, and some nervous posts getting settled into new places.  I go to blogs that have good links to them and I see something that hasn’t been updated in years. It’s like visiting a cemetery. What happened to you and your excitement dear author. It hasn’t crossed my mind that I’m guilty of letting this blog die as well until now. Recently death is in many places I look.

An aspiring travel blogger was killed in a car accident. Her name was Kimmy Hayes. I heard of her death through another travel blogger I follow. She died on an icy windy road in Oregon. There’s been an outpouring from the online community that knew of her. Apparently she was just getting ready to quit her job and give a go of the travelers’ lifestyle. Her husband is in critical condition as well. How does one even process that, such an extreme example of the fragility of life and making every moment count? I think of Jill and I, that could happen to us. I think of Jill’s brother Ben and how it did happen to him.

It reminded me of another terrible thing. A couchsurfer that Jill and I hosted in November was in a car accident too. He has been in a coma since we hosted him. When he stayed with us he was one of our best guests.  He was so full of life and dreams, now he is a shell clinging to life for, going on, 13 weeks. I can’t help but hope he will make it out of the darkness he’s in so he can show the world his smile again.

Shazaib (Zaib) Bajwa
Shazaib (Zaib) Bajwa

If that isn’t enough, my uncle passed away a few weeks ago. He led a long and happy life that was ended by cancer. My uncle took a trip around the world when he was in his twenties. He went on to accomplish many more things in his life and I’ve always thought of him as someone to aspire to be like. I wish I’d known him better.

Jill and I are determined to begin traveling in July, which is creeping inexorably closer. These tragedies and my uncle’s death have put a renewed thoughtfulness in me. I quit a soul sucking job when I heard that my uncle was in hospice. I couldn’t justify my misery any longer, I needed to stop wasting time. My life has taken a turn that can’t be undone. This trip whatever it turns out to be will happen.

When we start pursuing a dream, all around us appear signs that encourage or discourage that dream depending on our mindset. When tragedies happen they are framed in it as well, pushing us on our quest. Anything can be interpreted as a sign: a sailboat in a gift shop, a friend’s tragedy, a stranger’s death, or a family member’s passing.

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